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Saturday, May 17, 2008

And our man went to Andaman...


Right... So now I know that when you start working, you stop blogging. Or atleast for the first few months when the pin up board in your cubicle is bare and devoid of push pins forming hearts. Now Jetsam knows it's easier to say you are too lazy to write a blog than to actually dare to sit on your ass, with the head cocked to hear the mildest drop of anything from a pin to your manager's head, and start feeding crap into the system.

Now its crap to me cos i hate reading my own blogs, but i do it just so that i can say, "Hmmm... You talking about Zenit? I love that team.. Very talented players.. I have a pic of that team on my blog. You didn't know I had a blog. Gawwwp... Phissshhhh... Of course I do... Everyone has a blog now no? You don't? That's awful... Blah Blah Blah..." . So you see blogging is good for ur ego. And that is why am blogging on my friend's lapper while she's away. :-) Before you think am a sneaky lowdown whatsoever and chase me for the mail that went missing last week from your inbox (The one that was signed - Ur Love, Dolly, Smooch!), I d like to say that research shows that 76% of all people who hit this page suffer from the phobia of being useful.

Now that the introductions are done, (Splendid chappie eh? What?) I embark on an entry for the vacation that spanned from 3rd day of May to 12th day of May. (long sentence but lyrical)

Got on a flight to Port Blair from Chennai on Saturday. Nothing much to report except that my brother observed that the standard of air stewardesses was falling nowadays and that the man in the front row likes the lavatories on planes.

I have to admit that the islands looked awesome from above. All the shades of aquamarine blue and hilly green and sandy yellow swim lazily before your eyes that one cant help but think why the hell cant they wipe the blurs off the windows. What i was looking forward to was 5 days of escape from Perl and coffee machines. We got onto this taxi we had arranged and the driver thankfully spoke tamil (Ahem, Flotsam cannot form one complete sentence in hindi - it is jaata hai and aata hai all the way, again lyrical!) or rather, what would be left once Udit Narayan is done and over with it.

Now the astute reader would remember what the author was trying to avoid. While the first part was satisfied, the second stuck like the extremely annoying lamb one Miss Mary owned. Attribute it to the lack of bovine elements on the islands or anything, but the entire island drinks from coffee machines. So its like you have this guy who welcomes you into a tea shop and asks what you want. Once you have voiced your pick and dropped a 5 rupee coin, you hear this familiar buzz and turn around to find the bean gorging, steam spewing Medusa grinning at you.

You have to praise the beaches there. For one, they are very clean and two, they are devoid of the usual beach crowd that gapes at women and chases anything on four legs. (Both possibly Tsunami after effects) And they have some excellent coral reefs too. Went snorkelling and found this smooth coral remarkably similar to the pav they serve at my office. There was this other thing, the guy who accompanied said it was a clam, but i doubt clams blow kisses through blue mouths.

Hold on! I forgot about this 4 hour trip to and from an island called Havelock. Agreed its a splendid place and if it had enough bare bodies, would have been called the Riviera on the Bengal Bay, but 8 hours on a ship that is named Ramanujam and is as confused about the directions as his calculations were, are enough to remove the spark from one's eyes. To give you an idea of what it was, at the end of it, we were walking N 58deg E and then N 23 deg W apart from swaying like we bore the legendary albatross of the Ancient Mariner.

So after being toasted crisp and just enough to stay warm and gooey inside, we finally caught a plane back to the mainland where cows graze and clams are dead, both in peace, Amen.

PS : A word of advice - When bathing in the sea, have your priorities right. Remember, your eyes have eyelids but your nose doesn't. So you are better off holding your nose closed than closing your eyes with your palms.
And this shit blogger doesn't allow me to write in black. If you face the same problem with Fonts, don't even bother clicking where they ask you to.